Blue Tomato
by Teriel
Summary: The lanterns floating away, shining ethereal warm yellow light, in the darkness called to him. Sasuke waded forwards, deeper and deeper into the lake. His family called him to join them. He wanted to be free. Free of all the anguish and guilt. His loose ceremonial yukata soaked in the cold water and Sasuke shivered. Warning: Yaoi, Suicidal thoughts, Love, Years in the future


**Blue Tomato**

 **Summary:** This is based on a doujinshi called "Blue Tomato" I watched it and it completely broke my already shattered little heart into tiny little pieces then proceeded to suck my soul out of my body. So, I just had to write this with my horribly incorrect grammar to make myself feel better about all the angst. This is only one interpretation of what I think happened but I am sure there are others. I really recommend watching "Blue Tomato" on YouTube posted by "whatIamIIIDoingIHere". The added effects of the music really does break your heart. T^T Please let me know if I should continue it or not.

 **Disclaimer:** I can only ever wish to own such beautiful art.

 **Naruto POV:**

"The Bon festival shifts are out. Take a look at your schedule." The passing jounin that arranged A-rank mission schedules passed on the colour coded form to Naruto, which he accepted with a small, "Right."

Naruto scanned the form quickly and to his worry he had been assigned to a simple retrieval mission with Sai that should last six days, potentially more if they ran into any trouble. "They're different…" Naruto sighed glancing worriedly at Sasuke lounging in the Jounin common room near the window, before looking at the form again. Uzumaki, Uchida, and finally when he got to the Uchiha, Sasuke had been assigned to a one-day mission. His former rival would be back just in time for the Bon festival that took place every year and Sasuke had always commemorated the dead then. Which was why he always requested Baa-chan to give him no missions then. That was the one of the deals Sasuke and Tsunade-baa-chan had made when Sasuke had agreed to serve Konoha once more.

In all of the five years since Kaguya and the shinobi world war, Naruto had established a tentative sort of truce with Sasuke which was rocky and awkward sometimes but Naruto did his best. While over the years Naruto had integrated himself well into getting to know his precious village and his friends, Sasuke on the other hand had deteriorated substantially. The lone Uchiha kept to himself and completed missions, talking to others only when necessary. He hid it very well, but Naruto always saw through his blank unfriendly façade. Knowing from his past own experiences Naruto knew, it was very painful being lonely, and that is what Sasuke was. It was in worry of his friend that Naruto had always made time for Sasuke and attended every Bon festival ever since his friend's return to the village. Watching his friend look fragile dressed in a flimsy yukata whilst floating lanterns on the Uchiha lake was heartbreaking. Sasuke would always walk into the lake to release each and every lantern and sometimes he wouldn't realise he was almost at the edge of the shallow end. Just as he'd almost step into the deep end, Naruto was there to pull him back speaking nonsense and fervently hoping Sasuke wasn't doing it on purpose. The lake always seemed like it would easily swallow him, inviting him with only the light of the lanterns as if he were chasing stars in the dark.

And this was why Naruto was worried. He didn't think Sasuke had it in him to off-himself, he seemed too prideful. But at the same time Naruto knew better than most looks can be deceiving. For the first time in those five years Sasuke would be alone during the Bon festival. Naruto considered asking Sakura-chan or Kakashi-sensei to keep an eye on Sasuke or keep him company, but he knew the resentful Uchiha would hate him for that. And Sasuke valued his privacy, especially during the Bon festival the one time he could be with his family in heart. So, it didn't seem right to ask anyone to spy on him especially during the one day when Sasuke allowed his grief to show. Making up his mind to talk to Sasuke to ensure his wellbeing during the time he'd be gone, Naruto got up from the sofa.

"Sasu…!" Just as he was about to approach the lounging jounin also reading said mission schedule, another broad-shouldered ninja came and said something to Sasuke smiling. 'I don't know that guy' Naruto wondered, he'd never seen Sasuke willingly converse amiably with someone else. Maybe he would be alright after all and Naruto was just paranoidly jumping to conclusions.

"I'M TALKING TO YOU NARUTO!" Naruto jumped as Kiba finally had enough of Naruto spacing out. The Inuzuka was already dressed in his Jounin vest prepared to set off on his own mission the next day.

"KIBA! WHAT?!" Naruto tried to bat off his friend as Kiba ground his palm in Naruto's hair shaking his head to the side giving Naruto vertigo. Oh right…he'd almost forgotten.

"DON'T GIVE ME THAT!" The both of them were causing a commotion that had most the other Jounin shaking their heads and sniggering at the two-loud ninja, used to their silly antics. "If you've gotten your shift, then let's go drinking!"

"I got it! I got it, so let me go! Oww!" Naruto managed to get out of Kiba's headlock only for Kiba to drag him out of the room, arm around his shoulder "HEY Chouji! Thanks for waiting!" And Naruto grinned, he had wonderful friends, momentarily forgetting about his worries regarding Sasuke, he chatted excitedly about his mission as he walked out, completely missing Sasuke's contemplative's glace in their direction, neither showing nor telling any emotion.

Hours later…

"Ugh" Naruto collapsed into bed jounin clothes askew, "I'm drunk! Ohh man…" Shuffling around and getting comfortable, Naruto stared at the ceiling. It wouldn't be long until the drunk feeling disappears, Kyuubi's accelerated healing did burn the alcohol very fast from his body. And hence Naruto won all the drinking games leading to all the free ramen coupons. Naruto chuckled, but then it died out as he suddenly remembered Sasuke conversing with the unknown jounin. 'Will he be ok by himself?' There was a strange feeling like a knot in his chest. "Whether he's ok or not…it has nothing to do with me' With that thought the knot tightened in Naruto's chest.

To escape from the unexplainable feeling, Naruto got up and wandered over to his plants. "It's a long mission, so I'd better take you guys to Iruka-sensei's place." Talking to his plants like this…someone may think he was insane but to Naruto it helped especially when he was alone in his apartment. "I'll do it tomorrow morning…" Drowsiness won as he stumbled back into bed, prepared to deal with any responsibilities later.

In the morning…bright and early.

"YOU!" Iruka-sensei's face looked pissed as he stared at the forest in his living room. "Do you think just because I am a chuunin, it means I'm sure to come home every single da….?"

Naruto winced at the expression and rubbed his hair grinning, "Maa Sensei! You know I didn't mean it like that."

And when Iruka asked, "Are you trying to turn my home into a jungle?!" There was a leaf sticking out of Iruka-sensei's hair and he looked so indignant while holding his teapot that Naruto laughed out loud. As he coerced and bribed Iruka-sensei into looking after his plants Naruto thought, 'Maybe I should have just asked Kakashi-sensei this time…if he's home anyway'. Although he probably wasn't, Kakashi-sensei had taken up the mantle of Anbu captain again and ever since then he'd been away. Naruto missed him. And Sakura who was always busy at the hospital doing her duties as Tsunade's apprentice. He missed it when they were a whole team 7, all the easy-going chatter or not in Sasuke's case. Because of this, whenever he'd meet Sakura-chan or Kakashi-sensei for lunch before they'd have to run off again, the time he spent with them felt all the more precious. So, Naruto really valued it. The big gaping hole, the death of Ero-senin left behind, had never healed. He shook off the depressing thoughts and prepared his mind for the mission.

Just as he was about to leave, he saw an innocuous little tomato plant that must have belonged to Iruka-sensei. There were four tomatoes growing, although they were more yellow/green than the ripe red. An idea popped into his mind and he turned widened bright blue eyes at his sort of parental figure, "Ne ne Iruka-sensei…. can I ask a favour? Do you really love your tomato plant?"

 **Sasuke POV:**

Sasuke was just going about his day, packing essentials for his mission when there was loud banging at his door. He knew only Naruto had the audacity to sneak into the Uchiha Compound and almost knock his door off its hinges. Before he suffered any more property damage Sasuke with his irritation showing slid the door to the side, "What?!"

As soon as he opened the door there was a blur as Naruto speedily walked into his small garden and placed a tomato plant on the ground with a thud crouching down to make sure it stays put. "I brought you a tomato plant!"

"Huh?" Sasuke's eyebrow twitched at the familiarity of Naruto barging into his house, maybe he should invest in some privacy seals after all.

"Like I said it's a tomato plant." Naruto innocently looked at Sasuke.

"That's not what I'm asking! Why did you bring it to my house? Juts leave it at Iruka's place like you usually do." Sasuke having had enough of Naruto being indecisive of whether the plant would be placed more to the left or the right, he wore his slippers and walked over with a clack clack as the slippers hit the soles of his feet.

"Iruka-sensei's house is crowded already. It's fine, right? You're home till Bon anyway." Naruto didn't look at Sasuke as he said this, "All you have to do is give it water."

Sasuke saw the tomatoes and crossed his arms, "Can I eat some?" Well…they were his favourite fruit and if the dobe was going to leave it at his house then he only had the right. Naruto can think of it as payment for not leaving him this year.

"Sure," came the happy go lucky voice, Sasuke standing behind Naruto didn't see the small smile that graced Naruto's face when he asked that.

Sasuke crouched down next to Naruto and poked the tomatoes, "They look too new and small to eat though."

"Don't eat them early!" Naruto admonished.

"Shut up…" Sasuke sulked, he didn't want to wait.

"It's fine tomatoes grow fast. They'll be big enough by Bon…" Naruto left that hanging, him not being there this year left unsaid.

"…honestly, you're being ridiculous." Sasuke crushed the lonely feeling that welled up at the reminder and got up from the crouch, "There's nothing to worry about. I'll visit the graves alone." He turned around not mentally prepared to accept that Naruto's presence helped, "How many years do you think I've already done that?"

Some of the bitterness he was feeling must have crept upon his voice as Naruto swiftly turned around still on the ground and grabbed his wrist solidly preventing him from retreating. Sasuke paused. He felt his wrist being squeezed gently, the previously bruising grip faded, "Make sure…you give it water." Naruto said firmly as if trying to instill the words into his mind.

Sasuke made the mistake of catching Naruto's eyes as the blonde ninja continued, "Twice each day, in the morning and evening…" Naruto's cerulean blue eyes reflected his silhouette, face so earnest and beautiful that Sasuke just couldn't look away, entrapped in his gaze. Eyes wide while staring at Naruto, he looked like a panicked deer, doe eyes wanting to plead and beg Naruto to stay.

As Naruto slowly got up, both of them were caught in a moment that made Sasuke's chest feel so tight that it felt as if he could drown in that feeling alone. There was silence…Naruto just stared and stared at his face as if memorizing it still not letting go of his wrist. Sasuke felt boneless, as if he could collapse at any moment, only pure sheer pride yet keeping him standing as if aloof. It burned… his chest. He couldn't bear it, if Naruto didn't say anything soon, Sasuke was going to do something he'd regret. As Naruto moved closer to him, Sasuke couldn't help but lean his body towards the warm muscular ninja just dressed in a vest.

Before he embarrassed himself in front of Naruto of all people, Sasuke wrenched his arm away just saying anything that came into his mind to keep his composure, "You're so annoying. I already knew that." He turned away as if dismissing Naruto breathing in more than usual.

There was silence and with just a small, "See you," Naruto vaulted out of Sasuke's garden and leapt out of Sasuke's life just like that. Sasuke regretted his words.

Sasuke fervently wished Naruto had stayed. His bones were heavy and it felt as if the air was pressing at him from all direction. He couldn't prevent his face from showing how devastated he felt. Naruto had been his only link, his only anchor, and Naruto very quickly became the whole reason Sasuke was able to stay in Konoha. Naruto was the only reason he could bear to still live in the Uchiha compound and still face the memory of his wrongly convicted brother. And so, for the next few days he meticulously followed Naruto's advice and watered his tomato plant, twice each day in the morning and evening.

Bon festival was steadily approaching and Sasuke was restless, "I'll be going alone this year…" That was an extremely normal thing for him. He remembered his childhood, obsessed with revenge as he lit lanterns alone for many years of his life. Naruto had somehow filled the loneliness that enveloped him after he killed his aniki. Sasuke was unable to face his family's grave, Itachi's body had been brought to Konoha as well as the Hokages after the Edo Tensei jutsu had ended. Itachi was buried alongside his parents, where he deserved to rest, after everything.

Itachi's words echoed in Sasuke's mind, "I will always love you…" before he died for the second time, breaking Sasuke's revenge fueled heart all over again. He had killed his innocent brother who had only protected him again and again. Sasuke didn't know when he lost the will to live, just that life had lost all meaning along the way.

Coming back to Konoha had been a blur, he hadn't protested when Konoha ninja shackled him and brought him before the Hokage. His will of fire extinguished, Sasuke hadn't fought for his freedom. He had just wished they'd get his execution over and done with for becoming a traitor. It was the least he deserved for what he'd done to Itachi. He had been surprised when only a month later he had been unshackled and reinstated as a shinobi of the leaf. Not having a path or way forward Sasuke had accepted it, as he had nothing else to do. He may as well die while on duty. He owed his brother that much at least, to serve Konoha, the village his brother sacrificed everything for…at least. But he had survived every single mission without a scratch most of the time. He didn't know when a mission would finally take his life but Sasuke hoped it was soon.

Watching the village celebrating the war only made him remember what he'd lost. He faintly remembered Kakashi, Naruto and Sakura attempting to talk to him, but it was all such a blur Sasuke didn't really remember. It was six months of missions later at the Bon festival Sasuke decided enough was enough. Floating the lanterns for each and every single member of his family sapped his energy and will even further. Why was he waiting for a mission to kill him? The lanterns floating away shining ethereal warm yellow light in the darkness called to him. Sasuke waded forwards, deeper and deeper into the lake. His family called him to join them. He wanted to be free. Free of all the anguish and guilt. His loose ceremonial yukata soaked in the cold water and Sasuke shivered. Just as he was about to take the last step into the deep, warm hands had held his shoulders. "Sasuke…come back." The warm words were uttered with such conviction and fondness, Sasuke found he that he couldn't make that last step. And from then on Naruto accompanied him to the Bon festival every year. Naruto painstakingly helped Sasuke make his lanterns and it felt as if half the burden had lifted form Sasuke's shoulders.

But now…five years later…Sasuke felt that burden once more. He stared up at the sky in deep thought. The blonde ninja had become more than just a friend to Sasuke, he had wormed his way into Sasuke's heart. His already broken heart. And Sasuke knew Naruto could never be his, the smile, the fond look he always bestowed upon Sasuke. The last thing Sasuke wanted to drive his boisterous blonde ninja away which was why he absolutely could not entertain such thoughts.

His only solace was also his strife. He was pathetic.

Sasuke tended to the tomatoes once more, three out of the four tomatoes bursting with the vibrant red colour. Regardless of what he'd asked Naruto, he didn't want to eat them.

Not until the blonde ninja returned so they could eat them together.

 **Naruto POV**

The fire crackled and burned with intensity as Naruto and Sai rested from their retrieval mission. It had been tough, enemy ninja had been on their tail for five days straight and they finally had enough of a lead that they could both rest for a couple of hours.

'Pop' The fire burned as Naruto stared at it with a frown, unable to get a dark-haired ninja out of his mind. Sai noticing Naruto hadn't slept at all got up from his bedroll, "Are you alright Naruto?"

"Oh! You're awake?" Naruto looked up knowing Sai had already noticed his down mood.

Sai sat up rolling and packing his bedroll away, "Aren't you glad to be on a long mission at this time of year, Naruto?"

Naruto was confused, "Huh? Why would I be?" They were both covered in dirt and looked scruffy as two ninjas could look.

Sai continued in the same tone of voice, "Don't you go with Sasuke-kun to visit his clan's graves every year?" At Naruto's shock, he continued, "I heard about it from Sakura."

Naruto closed his eyes and smiled, "Ahaha…. Sakura-chan sure likes to gossip."

Sai just looked at him expectantly as if telling him to hurry up with the explanation already.

So Naruto tried to explain, "I don't really do it for Sasuke's sake…" Well that was phrased badly, he kind of did do it after he saw Sasuke almost fall into the lake. He remembered how Sasuke looked holding the lantern, dressed in a pale blue yukata. A darker blue bow to tie it all together. Sasuke hadn't worn his hitai-ate, hair falling around his face in waves as the wind gently blew it away. The warm light of the candle had lit up Sasuke's face in an ethereal beautiful way that Naruto had been mesmerized, "You know, the first time I saw the Uchiha Clan's ceremony…I found it really beautiful." Sai saw how genuine Naruto sounded. "But…it scared me." Watching as Sasuke let three lanterns float away, Naruto couldn't look away from the heartbreak and regret on Sasuke's face. "It seemed as if they were going to take Sasuke along with them…" Naruto narrowed his eyes, remembering the sadness and defeat.

At Sai's dubious glace at how lanterns could steal someone, Naruto amended, "I know there's no way that could happen," He smiled at the memory, "But…that's why, like I said, I don't do it for Sasuke's sake…I do it for my own reasons." He did it to make sure the lake didn't swallow Sasuke and take him away forever.

Sai then tilted his head to the other side and with judgement said "…what the hell. You're worried about something like that?"

Infuriating Naruto just like that, "YOU!" Naruto gaped at him, ttabayeo…. Sai was the one that asked him.

In a matter of fact voice Sai just said, "I just think it's strange." Naruto clicked his neck to the side stretching. He felt the chakra signatures of four other ninjas surround their small camp. With three more coming up behind him.

He looked up surprised when Sai continued, "I don't know about other people, but…what are you worried about? Even now, you're there, going along with him like you always do, right?" Exactly what was Sai talking about…? He didn't really have to figure it out right now anyway, they had company. "That's the sort of people you and Sasuke-kun are. Isn't that, right?" That however did strike a chord in Naruto's heart, his fondness for Sai increasing.

"Sai…" Naruto didn't want to interrupt, he wanted to pick Sai's brain apart to see what he meant, but they had their duty to do, "Sorry. Let's wrap this up."

And with that he got up and several Naruto's appeared in small puffs of clouds. From a distance, all one could hear was, "Rasengan!" And then the sound of trees falling covering the clanking of kunais.

 **Sasuke POV**

Naruto was not back yet. It was almost time for the ceremony. Sasuke gave one last forlorn look at the sky, then he waded into the lake placing one lantern down for his father, stern but still put his family first. Going back and lighting a second one he remembered his mother's sweet voice as she scolded him to be careful. Going back for the final one, Sasuke regretted as he lighted this lantern meant for his brother. 'I really hope you forgive me aniki.' As the three lanterns floated away, Sasuke once again felt that yearning

He felt the phantom grip of Naruto's hand on his wrist before he'd left for his long mission. Sasuke took one step forward, and another and again. He couldn't stop once he started moving. The lake splashed as Sasuke walked faster, he used his arms to balance as he waded waist deep into the lake. He could only see one lantern now, raising one hand forward wanting it to wait for him, but its flames also extinguished and Sasuke's hand fell limp.

'A blue…' just before it extinguished, he thought he saw blue eyes. And there Naruto was running towards him on the water, covered in scratches as he shouted, "SASUKE!"

He was surely dreaming, it was as if a light turned on in his life. He only had a moment to look at this dream in the face before the blonde ninja embraced him tightly, fulfilling one of his desires. It was only a dream even though it didn't feel like one.

They both fell backwards into the water with a splash.

"YOU!" Sasuke stared wide eyed as his dream proceeded to grip his face holding it about the water as he shouted at him, "ARE YOU GOING TO RUN OFF SOMEWHERE AND LEAVE THE TOMATO PLANT TO WITHER?!" Sasuke stared in shock as Naruto's beautiful blue eyes swam in tears as he whispered, "You Can't! hhng…" Naruto's crying face dripped tears drop by drop onto Sasuke's. 'drip…drip…' At Sasuke's disbelieving shock, Naruto wrapped both arms around Sasuke both of them drenched, "YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN'T! DON'T GO ANYWHERE!" Naruto buried his face into Sasuke's neck.

Sasuke still in his shock felt Naruto sniffle into his neck, "guh…ugh…"

"Naruto." At Sasuke's word, Naruto raised his face, pain in every expression as he brought his face closer to Sasuke's. Sasuke closed his eyes as the unbelievable happened when Naruto's warm lips met Sasuke's. His heart soared as the blonde ninja kissed him deeply, tears still falling. He felt the knot inside his chest unravel as Naruto sucked onto his lower lip before once again exploring his mouth tongues circling around each other. This wasn't a kiss of pleasure, Sasuke felt desperation, relief and wholeness. They fit against each other well, their bodies complimenting each other like a puzzle. "Ha-haa…" Small gasps escaped from both their lips, breathless. Every time they parted for air Sasuke felt like a dying man, he wanted more of the warmth and closeness. He never wanted to let go of it. Ever.

Every time they parted, "Haa…. Sasuke…" Naruto panted and kissed him again and again. "Sasuke…." He just whispered Sasuke's name in relief.

After a while Sasuke realised. He opened his eyes slightly to look at the wondrous sight of the blonde ninja holding his and kissing him. 'If I'm here…then I don't exist.' Sasuke stared broken into Naruto's tear-filled eyes. 'If I stay here, I'm sure I won't be reflected in the blue.' Sasuke brought his hand to Naruto's face and wiped an escaping tear with his thumb, it was the least he could do for the beautiful blue. 'Nothing exists here….'

"As if I know anything about growing tomatoes." Sasuke said, he didn't exist really. This was only a dream. Sasuke's sight blurred at that, growing dark around the edges of his vision. The phantom blonde ninja's arms tightened around Sasuke's faint body. At least…he had one last wish fulfilled in death, even if it had been just a really vivid dream.

As Sasuke's vision faded, he didn't notice another black-haired ninja run across the water to help Naruto carry his limp body away.


End file.
